Archives
Hello Everyone,
To those of you I already know-- hello again. To those of you I don’t--it’s
very nice to meet you and to those I have yet to meet--welcome! I’m John
Mark Clubb, the author of “boys cry too”. I started the “boys cry too”
group on the day I released the book and the last week has been an astounding
one. I thank you for your words of encouragement and support. I wanted
to take this opportunity to tell you a little about how this book came
about and what we are working on next. Originally it was meant to be simply
a memoir for my family. I was used to presenting what I only wanted others
to see that made me look good. So I was going to continue that in written
form. I wanted them to know about some of my experiences in life. As time
went on, however, I realized that in order for me to heal and then provide
them with the example I wanted to show, I had to tell the whole truth.
I had to tell the whole story good, bad and otherwise. I began telling
it slowly but in October of 2007, I got some excellent feedback from a
well know playwright who read the first chapter who said I had a story
to tell and the ability to tell it. That’s when I went into high gear
and literally wore out a keyboard on my laptop putting the words in my
head onto the screen in front of me. By the time I was finished in May
of 2008, I had over 210,000 words written. That’s a couple hundred pages
more than what is in the published version of the book which we will be
putting excerpts of on the website. I’ve had excellent help in this journey
so far. I wanted to thank them publically.
Lorie Michalak developed a teaching curriculum based on “boys cry too”
which we are about to publish. I would like to see this book taught to
seniors in high school or college freshman. Jackie Robotham and I wrote
a screenplay which we are working on translating to the screen and we
are in the initial stages of writing a play. I would like to see performances
tied with question and answer sessions afterwards so that audiences can
discuss this subject in an open forum. Lisa Langell and I are working
on developing a worldwide online community involving therapists, social
workers and teachers. We want to make this an inclusive resource for anyone
who has been a victim and is now a survivor of assault. My personal website
will continually be updated with resources for people who are hurting.
Eventually I would like to see physical retreats around the world all
interconnected where people can come to heal. “boys cry too” is just the
first step.
1 in 3 women and 1 in 6 men are sexually assaulted at some point in their
lives WORLDWIDE. When you extrapolate those statistics to our 6 billion
neighbors the numbers become staggering. Our perpetrators want to keep
people uncomfortable discussing this. In turn it makes us reluctant to
share our experiences. You talk to us every day. You work with us. You
live with us. We only ask that you stretch the boundaries of your comfort
zone a little. Admit you are uncomfortable but talk about it anyway. You
can become helpers in our healing by simply saying, “I’m sorry”. And a
hug never hurts. My hope is that “boys cry too” gives a voice to everyone
who has had to endure these experiences. I will be the face of sex abuse
if I need to with the message, “We’re finished hiding in the shadows”.
The cost of this is simply too large to ignore any longer. Not all addictions
and self destructive behaviors are a result of abuse but abuse ALWAYS
produces them in some fashion. The human cost is overwhelming. Over 90%
of men in prison today have sex abuse in their histories. We are all paying
for these crimes.
So if you choose to help, this is what I would ask you to do. Copy and
paste this email and send it to your address book and ask those folks
to send it to their address books. I promise you no disaster will befall
you in the next 10 minutes if you don’t and you won’t get your wishes
granted if you do but you might just lead someone to healing and help
them know they aren’t alone. Post it to your blogs. I would like to see
this message go around the globe. You can be the first in a ground swell
to finally rip away the curtain once and for all from this subject. It
warms my heart and humbles me to see members represented by so many countries.
I’m available for talks anywhere and everywhere. Please contact me and
time and schedule permitting we can try to work something out. Thank you
again.
With much respect,